Well sorry for the big build-up and then the anti-climax which is here, right here. This post was to include photos of kids sportin' schwag and demonstrating happy feelings re-created after the big incident, but those children were uncooperative and I've hoarded the schwag and, well, I'll just tell you what happened: We encountered the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile!
Oh, it was so sweet. Waxed to wienerific perfection. Gleaming like a ginormous processed meat beacon in that Sam's Club parking lot. Oh, she was a beaut. Some people wait a life time for a moment like this. The kids were giddy. I was hyperventilating. Matt was patient. I beat him over the head with my purse to get him to park the damn Land Rover ANYWHERE so we could bolt for that gleaming glorious frankfurter. We left the car while it was still rolling and made a run for it lest we get left in the hot-dog scented dust - we were so scared it would leave before we got there! But mecca was there for us when we arrived. And the door was open.
I want to tell you every detail of the upholstered splendor that was the inside of that wiener, I really do. I want to tell you about the bun-shaped dashboard and the wien-tastic music playing, etc., but I won't. I'm not going to spoil it for you. It is more unbelievable and amazing than you can imagine. And you should imagine. If you haven't seen this 8th wonder of the world, then I feel sad for you. Hunt it down and do it. They give you prizes!
Yes, the wiener whistle urban legend is true. The driver gives you one. Even if you're a hysterical parent and they're really for the kids, lady. He also tells you hilarious jokes if you ask him questions like: "Do you sleep in here?" His response: "Of course not silly, it's not a wiener-bago!"
Anyhow, my family was brought closer by the experience. Gwen even hugged me, she was so happy. There is so much more I could say but no, I want you to experience this for yourself. Go get that wiener!